SHAME: The Original Emotional Dysfunction
By Rev. Kathryn Marie van Rooyen
Copyright 1998 -- All rights reserved

Developing A New Way Of Thinking!

We must develop a new way of seeing ourselves, and believing in ourselves, based on the unconditional love and acceptance of God. Of course you have failed, and have made mistakes, and have messed up. But which do you want to value more-- your past or what God says about you? If you continue to value your mess-ups and inadequacies, you will become absorbed in self-pity and hopelessness. But if you chose to see you as God sees you-- see yourself in the light of truth-- then you will eventually experience changes in every area of your life. Your relationships will change, your goals will change, and even your general outlook on life will change.

Consider this: Because of Christ, I am deeply loved, completely forgiven, totally acceptable, and fully pleasing to God. In my weaknesses, He is made strong. He delights in me. I lack nothing in my own being because His grace is enough for me. Those words are the truth. And the truth is the matter as GOD sees it. But we have a hard time believing that, because we feel so much shame. God does value and love you deeply. And He knows all about you!

Bringing About A Change

Change can come through learning how God sees you, understanding His nature (and it is not a mystery but easily discovered), and by basing our self-worth on God's opinion of us and trust His Spirit to bring this change about. We need to be honest about our pain, loneliness, fear, anger and disappointments of the past. And we must put ourselves in relationships that will encourage us to feel what has been "stuffed" or denied or suppressed all these years. We must put ourselves in relationships that are real, and allow us to be human and in need of a savior, of a loving God.

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